so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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