I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
