i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
