I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
