but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
