Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm too high and old for this...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
