It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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