if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
