i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
