Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
