Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
