At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
