6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
