do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
