he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
