just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize