then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
