yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
