I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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