Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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