Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
