Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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