Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
