I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
