you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
