i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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