Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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