i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
