i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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