White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
