The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
