just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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