Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
