:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
