You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
