Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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