Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
