Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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