You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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