Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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