I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
