it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
They have beer where we have blood.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
