He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
