this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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