I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
