For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
