big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
