that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
