and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This is my gift to your gina
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
