Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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