It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
