Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This is classic penis vs brain.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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