Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
