first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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