Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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