the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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