Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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