Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
