I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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