He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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