I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
birth control should be required to get into college
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
