goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize