wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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