Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
